The Narrator Returns
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Will this be on the test?
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Post by The Narrator Returns on Jun 13, 2013 16:38:29 GMT -6
If you need a place to rave, complain, or mope about the latest, and Nolaniest, Superman movie. My review will be posted here tomorrow, and yours can be too.  Look out, Superman, their prices are too low! |
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affrosponge88
Administrator
Life's a song you don't get to rehearse.
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Post by affrosponge88 on Jun 13, 2013 16:40:11 GMT -6
I hated it!
... Okay, I've never seen a single Superman film... This one included.
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The Narrator Returns
Hat Club Member
Will this be on the test?
Posts - 64
Likes - 12
Joined - January 1970
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Post by The Narrator Returns on Jun 13, 2013 16:41:14 GMT -6
I've only seen the Richard Lester ones (II and III), which I'm sure would get me castrated in less forgiving fanboy environments.
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Traegonometry
Newly Enrolled
AHHHHHHHHHH
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Joined - January 1970
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Post by Traegonometry on Jun 13, 2013 17:28:38 GMT -6
Who said we were less forgiving?
*Sharpens knife*
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The Narrator Returns
Hat Club Member
Will this be on the test?
Posts - 64
Likes - 12
Joined - January 1970
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Post by The Narrator Returns on Jun 14, 2013 15:17:19 GMT -6
I saw Man of Steel today, oh boy
(I want to get this out of the way right now, and say that the Stray Observations will contain spoilers. I’m telling you this up here instead of right before I get to them, because this is a popular movie, and many of you may still be seeing it later.)
Surprisingly enough, the film this reminded me most of was not something like the Nolan Batman movies, but instead, John Carter. I didn’t come with high expectations for either of them, but I walked out of both having had a lot of fun. I just liked it a lot, alright? I liked all the performances, even Amy Adams’, which has been getting much flak from people (maybe I like her too much to see any faults with her). Even if Michael Shannon was more restrained than I assumed he would be (I’m a bit shocked that his role in Premium Rush, which wouldn’t seem to lend itself well to scenery chewing, had more of it than the role seemingly designed for it), he still got to scream at the top of his lungs and give us those patented Michael Shannon Crazy Eyes (which are worth the price of admission alone). And Henry Cavill made an impression as Superman. And then a whole bunch of respected actors (Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Christopher Meloni) to let us know that we’re in good hands. And then everybody’s favorite singer, Russell Crowe, shows up to do things. I had fun, goddamnit. I had a lot of fucking fun.
Grade: A-
Lester Scale (since Lester directed those two Superman movies): Classic
Stray Observations (once again, there be spoilers):
- It was not a good day to be a Smallville business owner. Did you see what happened to the Sears, the IHOP, and the 7-Eleven?
- Speaking of Michael Shannon, he kind of ruined the film’s most emotional scene for me. When the tornado hit and eventually took Kevin Costner (and he held Clark back from saving him), all I think about was, “Man, Michael Shannon was right!”
- It’s a shame Chris Meloni couldn’t die the way he lived, fondling his sweaters. Although I’d like to imagine that the scene where he’s given a lecture by a talking bean can was cut for time.
- That Henry Cavill, he’s a good-looking fellow.
- It was a little long, I will say that.
- Seriously, don’t fuck with Michael Shannon. He will fuck your shit up.
- I could not for the life of me detect any Zack Snyder touches. That’s good, that’s a good thing.
- You know, I was already rooting for Superman beforehand, but when he took out a surveillance drone, I think I started to love him.
- I wasn't feeling the Malick comparisons at first, but then the flashbacks started, and I instantly made the comparison myself.
(END OF SPOILERS)
- I plan to see Before Midnight next week, so I can only hope it delivers as many thrills and explosions as this movie did.
- I saw this in the great Randhurst theater, sitting in nice leather chairs, and since I got there early enough, I got to sit in a nice, almost private section, with a table I could put my stuff on. It was really nice.
- Also, because I got there early enough, I got to sit through First Look. Woo hoo.
- First Look
Grown Ups 2: Jesus Christ, I think every former SNL cast member is in this movie. Of course, there’s Sandler, Spade, and Rock, but also Tim Meadows, Andy Samberg, Will Forte, Colin Quinn, Cheri Oteri, Maya Rudolph and Taran Killam. Plus there’s Shaq and Taylor Lautner. And also pee jokes.
Falling Skies: Thanks, First Look, but thanks to those constant ads on the AV Club, I already know about the “new allies” and “new villains”.
The Fosters: Get it? They’re a foster family, and they’re named the Fosters!
- Trailers I Saw Before the Show
R.I.P.D.: What looks like Men in Black’s non-union Mexican equivalent. There’s Jeff Bridges, basically playing a hammier Rooster Cogburn, Ryan Reynolds, to bland everything up, and a title which sounds like something Burl would come up with. Ha ha, I won’t be seeing it!
Turbo: The other Ryan Reynolds preview. More DreamWorks shit.
World War Z: There’s no way the CGI on the zombies can be finished, right? Right?
The Lone Ranger: It’s growing on me, I guess. Before, I didn’t want to see it. Now, I may just want to see how the reviews are.
Elysium: Another blunt social satire in sci-fi dressing, from the creator of District 9. Of course, I star in this one, so you should see it twice.
Gravity: Poor Sandra Bullock, always getting sucked out into the vacuum of space.
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Post by Semi-bored torontonian on Jun 15, 2013 16:13:07 GMT -6
A thoroughly disappointing movie. There's no way to phrase it better. Man of Steel takes the worst of Christopher Nolan (ponderous, dull dialogue, indifferently staged fight scenes, and general dreariness) and combines it with the worst of Zack Snyder (overreliance on CGI, busy production design) and produces a movie that, at 2 1/2 hours long manages to somehow fail at both storytelling and action.
The film begins promisingly enough (if surprisingly derivative of Wolverine, for some reason), with Clark Kent working a string of crappy, dangerous jobs in the backwoods of Nova Scotia, and abandoning them as soon as his congenital goodness compels hims to save people from certain death. Interspersing this with flashbacks to his childhood is a good idea, lifted from Batman Begins. But the movie treats Clark's childhood and youth as nothing but a string of superhuman feats (he lifts a truck! he rescues a bus full of schoolchildren!). We know nothing about his motivations other than what characters tell us, again and again. So much time is spent trying to make us feel awe towards Superman that there's next to none left when it comes to trying to understand Clark Kent. That's the lesson that Nolan's Batman and Iron Man 1 and 3 understood well: that a superhero is only compelling when there's some sense of humanity behind him/her; otherwise all you get is empty spectacle. Hector was right the other day: there will never be a good Superman movie, until someone figures out how to make a Clark Kent movie first.
As undercooked as the dramatic aspects are, they're positively delightful in comparison to the fight scenes. And there are SO. DAMN. MANY - each and every one shot in the same hyperkinetic, style, choked by feverishly frazzled CGI (think Transformers more than Avengers, and with a weird, unsettling indifference to the catastrophic destruction and massive loss of life they seem to entail. A prologue set on Krypton (which apparently exists at the intersection of the machine world from The Matrix and an Iron Maiden album cover) is laughably bad and needlessly convoluted. The film also has a dour, steel gray color palette, as if it were literally afraid of joy. And that's probably my biggest complaint about it: just how grim it all is. It's here that I'm beginning to resent Nolan's legacy. There was a reason for Batman to be dark and depressing: after all, Bruce Wayne is a man consumed by trauma, anger and sadness. But extended to other superheroes, the tone becomes an irritating cliche. If anything, Iron Man proves you can have both angst and fun (and fucking primary colors!) without killing a franchise.
Finally, the actors. This movie stars Russell Crowe, Michael Shannon, Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Amy Adams, Laurence Fishburne and Henry Cavill, but it might just as well starred Alex Pettyfer and The New Kids on the Block, that's how little talent matters here. Cavill is OK, I guess, but the role demands nothing from him except to look good and pose. Shannon is mostly sleepwalking, as does Russell Crowe. There's a tiny kernel of true and intriguing drama in the relationship between Jor-El and Zod, but the film glosses over it for most of its length, and then ends it with a massive exposition dump (coincidentally, the one time when Michael Shannon gets truly good) that robs it of any impact.
GRADE: D+
TRAILERS:
Elysium: Neill Blomkamp made another SF socio-political allegory and it looks just as good as District 9.
300: Rise of the Empire: 1. Shouldn't this be called: 301 if it's a sequel? /rimshot/ 2. Dear Eva Green: you are a talented actress and a stunningly beautiful woman. Please choose better projects.
Riddick: Vin Diesel needs money, I guess. Also, I thought Riddick ended up Emperor of the Universe in the last movie, so I don't understand why he's being hunted again.
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The Narrator Returns
Hat Club Member
Will this be on the test?
Posts - 64
Likes - 12
Joined - January 1970
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Post by The Narrator Returns on Jun 15, 2013 16:36:46 GMT -6
You know, I started my own Man of Steel thread, just for reviews of the movie. It's like you don't even care about me!
*runs sulking into room*
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Post by Semi-bored torontonian on Jun 15, 2013 16:50:27 GMT -6
Damn, I didn't even think to check. I'm sorry Narrator.
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affrosponge88
Administrator
Life's a song you don't get to rehearse.
Posts - 305
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Joined - January 1970
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Post by affrosponge88 on Jun 15, 2013 16:56:34 GMT -6
Problem solved!  |
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