Random Funny Shit from Tinychat

hahahaha. these are great. The funniest part of the orgy thing, is that I came in right at the end when I was having that rough week and was about to quit the board and TC for a week. That may or may not have tipped me off that I needed a "vacation." Those were the days!

captain and chris get flustered:

I know Stephen is missing a really good one but I cannot think of what it was. I was looking for it though so I could remember what it was and nothing happened.


EDIT: it was me, Stephen and EJ! I remember that much.

I think it was after, lol.

That's amazing that you didn't realize you were in the middle of one of the most famous comic routines of all time. That's really perfect.

EDIT: I WAS TRICKED

Hahaha there's so much stuff you didn't capture in that screenshot either. I remember making fun of you for masturbating at work for hours after that. Good times, good times.

I specifically remember jokes about you not working at home and jerking off in from of other employees, but I can't remember the context. Were we making those jokes just because or was EJ or I confused about whether or not you worked from home?

And all of the customers and coworkers you inadvertently horrified?

Glazomaniac stops by for a minute.

Damn, I should be on tinychat more.

Ummm months ago, some guy tried to bite birdie....

[12:11 PM] birdie: sorry about leaving abruptly ysterday. my mom sat down on the couch with me so i had to
[12:11 PM] birdie: ext the tab
[12:11 PM] captblicero: that's ok
[12:11 PM] birdie: hi, spthen
[12:11 PM] captblicero: i exit quickly whenever i see a pretty girl walk by
[12:11 PM] birdie: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
[12:11 PM] guest-7505423 changed nickname to restrepo
[12:11 PM] birdie: there's a needle in my headphones
[12:11 PM] birdie: hi, janine
[12:12 PM] restrepo: hey
[12:12 PM] stephen: yo janine
[12:12 PM] birdie: why are teenage boys such creepers?
[12:12 PM] captblicero: (i was joking)
[12:12 PM] captblicero: haha
[12:12 PM] captblicero: what do you mean?
[12:12 PM] restrepo: because they're teenage boys
[12:13 PM] restrepo: I don't think it's really that hard a concept to follow
[12:13 PM] birdie: there was a guy that I just met and he kept trying to bite me
[12:13 PM] captblicero: he knows what you like huh?
[12:13 PM] birdie: he tried to bite me on my boob and on my lips
[12:13 PM] birdie: hehe. I like to bite but not to get bitten on
[12:14 PM] birdie: I was looking for the clip from a couple of days ago to show him my situation
[12:14 PM] captblicero: "he tried to bite me on my boob and on my lips" ..........................................
[12:14 PM] birdie: the "boyfriend" clip
[12:14 PM] captblicero: haha
[12:14 PM] captblicero: the one i found
[12:14 PM] birdie: i forgot the name though.
[12:14 PM] birdie: YEAH! THAT ONE
[12:14 PM] captblicero:
[12:15 PM] birdie: oh. thank you. If this situation ever happens. I know what to do
[12:15 PM] captblicero: that's the right one
[12:15 PM] captblicero: ...he tried to bite your boobs? how doe that happen?
[12:15 PM] captblicero: (outside of the bedroom)
[12:15 PM] captblicero: wtf
[12:15 PM] stephen: this is pretty much undisputable
[12:16 PM] stephen: why was he trying to bite you......
[12:16 PM] birdie: im short. it's easy access
[12:16 PM] birdie: I don't know
[12:16 PM] captblicero: short means you have to bend over further
[12:16 PM] captblicero: that's like sexual assault
[12:16 PM] stephen: yeah :S
[12:16 PM] birdie: i think so. I was very uncomfortable but didn't want to be mean
[12:16 PM] restrepo: yep
[12:16 PM] restrepo: definitely not okay
[12:17 PM] birdie: hey. i found this
[12:17 PM] birdie: themetapicture.com/im-a-majestic-narwhal/
[12:17 PM] stephen: was there something wrong with him?
[12:17 PM] birdie: not really. he didn't have many boundaries and he wreeked of hormones
[12:18 PM] captblicero: attention birdie: strange men are NOT allowed to bite your boobs
[12:18 PM] stephen: where was this? and who is he? how old is he?
[12:19 PM] stephen: (we're not quite ready to drop this at "a guy tried to bite my boobs and lips")
[12:19 PM] birdie: awwww. I was thinking about having you guys around everyday in my life
[12:19 PM] birdie: like older brothers
[12:19 PM] restrepo: yeah women are conditioned by society to accept stuff like this
[12:19 PM] captblicero: haha
[12:19 PM] birdie: it was at school. hunter. and he's 18 or 19
[12:19 PM] captblicero: oh he's a hunter
[12:19 PM] captblicero: of cours
[12:20 PM] stephen: so you *know* his parents are hillbillies
[12:20 PM] birdie: i just sat down and tried to concetrate on watching a couple short films
[12:20 PM] birdie: hehe. probably
[12:20 PM] birdie: he's the type of guy that's surrounded by girls everywhere
[12:21 PM] stephen: i'm still really confused as to how this happened
[12:21 PM] birdie: i dont know. I got really flustered and awkward
[12:21 PM] captblicero: yeah
[12:21 PM] captblicero: how did he approach?
[12:21 PM] stephen: of course you did.
[12:22 PM] captblicero: was he sitting there and was like, "hey i'm going to bite your boobs"?
[12:22 PM] captblicero: and you were like, "well ok" *shrug*
[12:22 PM] birdie: at first he hugged me. that's the second i met him
[12:22 PM] birdie: nooooo
[12:22 PM] birdie: then he asked if i was a biter and I said yes (becuase I am). I didn't know that he meant
[12:22 PM] birdie: it that way
[12:23 PM] captblicero: what
[12:23 PM] stephen: ..........
[12:23 PM] captblicero: if you're a biter, it means you like biting.
[12:23 PM] captblicero: if he means do you like being biten, then it's a different word
[12:23 PM] birdie: I dont know
[12:24 PM] birdie: I ask once again. What is wrong with teenage boys?
[12:24 PM] captblicero: they're not all like that
[12:24 PM] stephen: brb
[12:24 PM] captblicero: after you said you were a biter
[12:24 PM] captblicero: what did he do?
[12:24 PM] captblicero: bite you?
[12:25 PM] birdie: i forgot. i think he did
[12:25 PM] captblicero: ...so he just leaned over and bit your chest?
[12:25 PM] birdie: he was also very weird with crazy steve but i assume that's normal teenage boy stuff
[12:25 PM] birdie: like dry humping him
[12:26 PM] birdie: at one point, he sort of did. but he didn't really bite it too much
[12:26 PM] captblicero: i still have so many questions....
[12:26 PM] birdie: ok. hehe
[12:26 PM] captblicero: crazy steve? that's his name? don't befriend someone who has a friend named crazy steve
[12:27 PM] birdie: no. he's normal
[12:27 PM] captblicero: normal teenage boy stuff is not dry humping someone named crazy steve
[12:27 PM] birdie: he just has insane friends
[12:27 PM] captblicero: does he dryhump crazy steve?
[12:27 PM] birdie: he loooks like crazy steve. that's why
[12:27 PM] birdie: i dont know
[12:27 PM] captblicero: "bite it too much" doesn't excuse like ... touching you. or whatever he did.
[12:28 PM] captblicero: next time if a strange boy tries to bite your chest, slap him
[12:28 PM] birdie: i know. at least i dont have a bruise
[12:28 PM] birdie: ok. i've never actually slapped someone (non family) before
[12:29 PM] birdie: if bongoes and i do end up together for a long time, I'm just happy i dont really have to
[12:29 PM] birdie: go through the whole dating thing
[12:30 PM] birdie: anyways. that was the weird part of my day
[12:30 PM] birdie: how was yours?

--------------------------------
Note: I think where I say "undisputable", I meant to say "inexcusable" and made a weird typo.

Remember when Tim Allen visited Tinychat and it was fucking glorious?

talking about his friendship with Paul Giamatti:
timallen: Sometimes when I'm having problems I fly to Paul Giamatti's house
timallen: that sack of shit makes me feel much better
timallen: you should try it
timallen: of course you gotta pretend to like him
timallen: wah wah Lady in the Water this
timallen: Phil Seymour Hoffman that
glazomaniac: what does giamatti smell like?
timallen: he smells like Vince Vaughn's beef jerky
timallen: Vince Vaughn's beef jerky is called "You're so Yummy cow you don't even know it"
timallen: Giamatti eats it by the pound
timallen: i tell him the MSG is gonna kill him
timallen: he says WHO CARES I DONT EVEN HAVE AN OSCAR FROM SIDEWAYS
timallen: geez what else can I do

glazomaniac: is there any role you regret taking?
timallen: I regret Kristmas with the Kranks
glazomaniac: why's that?
timallen: It felt like maybe Tim Allen has been in too many Christmas time movies
pulpcomics: ninsense
timallen: I was worried America wouldn't always love me
restrepo: Christmas is when Tim Allen brings families together
glazomaniac: yeah, tim allen is synonymous with holiday cheer in my mind
pulpcomics: nonesense that was only like the 8th movie
glazomaniac: you're a family institution
loki: Christmas is my 4th favorite holiday.
timallen: thanks for calming my fears
timallen: Christmas and Tim Allen are truly synonymous
timallen: like Paul Giamatti and wiping his ass with his own towels
glazomaniac: wow, that's gross
timallen: I know
loki: Everything is gross.
timallen: I told Paul to buy some double ply
timallen: and get his life together
timallen: he looked me in the eye and started eating his own earwax

Tim on his time in Australia:
glazomaniac: tim, have you ever been to australia? did you meet mel gibson?
timallen: I've been to Australia
timallen: I met some aboriginals to research jungle 2 Jungle
timallen: I was confused why they weren't rich like me and other white people
timallen: I told them to get high paying jobs
timallen: and watch Home Improvement
timallen: I think I probably solved a lot of social issues while I was there

timallen: stephen, the 70s were a hard time for me
timallen: I wasn't always the great comic example I am today
timallen: hanging with Bowie listening to Kraftwerk hammering back bags
timallen: what was I thinking?
timallen: synthesizer music geez
timallen: awful
timallen: then Bowie went to Berlin and who know what happened there

Also, after claiming that Home Improvement has millions of fans (around the world, presumably):
timallen: Manila has an annual Home Improvement convention
timallen: but I can never make it

Oh yes, and this exchange with glaz:
glazomaniac: can i ask you something i've always wanted to ask the real tim allen?
glazomaniac: ...am i good looking?
timallen: are you a man?
glazomaniac: only occasionally.
timallen: if so I can't answer that
glazomaniac: i'm a princess boy
timallen: Like Ru Paul?
timallen: I don't get this stuff sorry
glazomaniac: like genesis p orridge

guest-511688 changed nickname to stephen_working
[2:35 PM] guest-511721 entered the room.
[2:35 PM] guest-511721 left the room.
[2:37 PM] distraction entered the room.
[2:38 PM] guest-511754 changed nickname to distraction
[2:38 PM] distraction: Oh my god
[2:38 PM] distraction: stephen
[2:38 PM] distraction: look at me
[2:38 PM] distraction: I'm a distraction
[2:38 PM] distraction: I'm distracting yoi from work
[2:38 PM] distraction: Woooo
[2:39 PM] distraction: oh mah gawd this is so distracting
[2:39 PM] distraction: *throws lights and sparkles everywhere*
[2:39 PM] distraction: Ahhh pretttttttty
[2:39 PM] distraction: *is mesmerized by the lights and sparkles*
[2:39 PM] distraction: OH NOOOO THE LIGHTS AND SPARKLES ARE TURNING INTO A BLACK HOLE OF DOOOOOOM
[2:40 PM] distraction: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
[2:40 PM] distraction: *gets sucked into the black hole of doom*
[2:40 PM] distraction left the room